


Echos of a Monster

by AleXandra Danielle Paris (Fictionness)



Series: Reflections on the Past [3]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 12:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17508296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionness/pseuds/AleXandra%20Danielle%20Paris
Summary: Mulder Anguish.  Basically it's reflecting on  the changes in personality and they effected others.  Also has a bit about how his childhood may have effected his adult life.  NO MSR, NOVIOLENCE, NO SWEARING.  Relationship that Mulder is e.g with his farther, Dana and Sam.





	Echos of a Monster

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER:- All the characters and situations of the X-files television program are the creation and property of Chris Carter, and Fox Broadcasting and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. Please comment with thoughts, good the bad and the ugly.
> 
> SPOILERS:- Set in the third season Grotesque (3x14)

He couldn't believe it had happened again. He hated having to draw on his dark side of his nature to get the job done. Worse, this time he had a partner and she had been dragged down. She hadn't been prepared for it all. How many were?

Patterson had wanted him to take over from him when he had finished. If he hadn't found the X-Files or gotten a partner he would have been Patterson. To know a monster, you had to become one. Well Scully had finally seen the monster. Did others have the trouble he had? He remembered when Patterson had told him that he should stay, that he had the skill...hell the talent to go far. But he hadn't wanted to go far if, it meant thinking like a killer. 

Now he had been forced to talk to the Psychology Division again. Now Mulder, you know childhood develops you? Why couldn't people leave him and his childhood alone? He lived it at night. He was a psychologist, he knew. But the worse thing was going to be to face Scully again. 

He ripped at the pictures on the walls. He had dreamed he had tried to kill himself. If anybody at Psychology Division got a hold of that loaded dream, interpretations would be flying around the FBI. Spooky Mulder just got Spookier.

Monsters within or without, which were worse? Within. Without you didn't have to worry about things that they were beyond your control. Within monsters were uglier and nastier than anything other people could dream of.

The X-Files helped. Dana Scully had helped too, the few time the need to lash out had arise. Comedy had helped cover the hurt most times, but not this case.

He couldn't believe that Patterson had asked for his help, but now he couldn't believe that he had wanted to be caught by him. Tough, Patterson had set him so that Scully had thought it was he who was doing the killings. That had hurt. Thinking back on his behavior, he was surprised she was as supportive as she was. He was now afraid of the way he had acted, all but forgetting her and the rest of the world.

And now he was wallowing in the deceitful nature of Patterson and his own potential to be him. Why did Patterson succumb to the nature of the job? Maybe one case to many the hunt had overtaken him. He only had his theory of what possibly had happen to Patterson. He had gotten to the place where it didn't matter how; he had to solve the case. That's how he was able to mold himself into the most horrible people, it made it easier to get into their minds. 

He wondered what it felt like not to have this skill. What are other people's monsters? What was his dad's monster? Scully, did she have any? Maybe he should phone and talk to her? No. He should do this in person, emotions needed to be seen so he could tell if they needed to be explained.

He still had the OPC to contend with, to see if the shooting of Patterson had been necessary. Had it? Scully had told him that she felt it had been right. But what she didn't realize was that the slow retrieval of his cellular phone was not from pain, but from the wish that Patterson would die. Not only because *he* had wished it, but because he knew Patterson would not like his new surroundings. But how much control did he have over it? What would happen next time he got a case like this? Only time could tell.


End file.
